I went on the all-inclusive TUI cruise that stops in some of Europe’s most beautiful cities

CORFU, Koper, Zadar, Kotor, Split.  Whoever created this seven-night Balkans cruise must be a fan of ports with five-letter names.

The plan was almost scuppered by Dubrovnik — but it is the P-e-a-r-l of the Adriatic, so still counts.

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My wife Debbie and I were celebrating our anniversary on Marella Explorer, one of five (there we go again) fully refurbished, all-inclusive ships in the TUI-owned line which caters mainly for UK passengers.

When we are on holiday, we try to go high up for the perspective of a new destination.

So, after sailing north from Corfu to terracotta-roofed Koper in Slovenia, we strolled the five minutes from the dock to the main Titov Trg square.

Fortified by bargain €2.40 coffees at the Golden Loggia cafe, we went heavenwards by climbing the 12th-century cathedral tower’s 204 steps (entry €5) to get our bearings, photos and a booming organ recital soundtrack.

Then we descended to see the striking 360-year-old Da Ponte fountain (one to gush over) and the beach (take water shoes, it’s very pebbly).

Back on board, we collapsed in 1,924-passenger Explorer’s shady stern Mediterranean bar for a couple of cold beers before deciding to have a couple more.

New day, new country. We docked at Zadar, in Croatia’s Dalmatia region, and a shuttle bus took us to the Old Town’s weird and wonderful Sea Organ.

It opened in 2005 and the 35 pipes buried under 230ft-wide promenade steps resonate to waves, creating a surprisingly tuneful effect.

Strolling past the ruins of the Roman Forum and the polar opposite tourist tat market, we were inevitably drawn to the cathedral’s 14th-century tower (entry €4).

Here, 180 steps were tackled to take in views of the Old Town, marina and city walls.

Numerous Dalmatian islands were also spotted. We also checked out Five Wells Square, which does indeed have the required number of watering holes.

Next port, Split, is Croatia’s second-largest city, and Romans were also here.

The Unesco-listed showstopper, within walking distance from the port, is the former palace of Emperor Diocletian and was used as a Game Of Thrones film location.

Moggy merch

Within it, the gorgeous Old Town wows with its promenade, huge cellars, bars, restaurants, cafes and hotels.

It’s unmissable, and cheaper than Dubrovnik.

There is a 173-step cathedral tower (entry €7) to climb and the steep, claustrophobic first level with no handrail is not for the faint-hearted — or basketball players.

But the view you are rewarded with at the top is a slam-dunk.

A black sphinx is perched near the entrance. Apparently Diocletian liked visiting Egypt but, in the absence of fridge magnets in 300 AD, he returned with souvenir sphinxes.

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Presumably Imperial customs waved him through.

Top tip while you are here: Head to aMare in Narodni Trg square for the best dark chocolate ice cream that €3 can buy.

If you like cats, next stop Kotor, Montenegro, is purr-fect as the walled Old Town is home to hundreds of strays, supposedly descended from trading ship escapees centuries ago.

These friendly felines are practically worshipped by locals, who leave them food and water daily.

Cat “kennels” are dotted around, there’s a museum and endless moggy merch.

We joined an excursion and, after a walking tour, a bus ferried us to Lovcen mountain cable car, which travels 2.4 miles up to 4,318ft with terrific views of fjord-like Bay of Kotor.

At the top, there are shops, cafes and the Alpine Coaster, a toboggan-style thrill ride on a 1,140-yard metal track which loops around the summit at up to 25mph but feels much faster.

It costs an extra €8 and, had time permitted, we would have got straight back on.

Our final stop was Dubrovnik, which we’d visited several times before, so we reduced the notorious over-tourism and chilled by the pool, catching some Kindle time, doing badly at quizzes and foot-tapping to 80s DJ sets.

Great itinerary, great ship and great crew. High-fives all round, from us.

YOU’LL ADORE THE EXPLORER

THE CABIN: For our anniversary, we upgraded to a junior suite, which is all your cruise Christmases rolled into one. It features a balcony hammock where we swung into action at every opportunity.

You also get a coffee machine, Yorkshire Tea, dressing gowns, slippers, posh toiletries, pillow menu and ample space. A superb cabin.

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ALL-INCLUSIVE FOOD AND DRINK: The main Latitude 53 restaurant is a reliable go-to and you could happily combine this with the equally dependable Market Place buffet for a week.

Latitude also hosts Piccadilly’s British-with-a-twist and Italian-focused Vista breakouts.

Vista was good, though Piccadilly’s – new on board when we sailed in August – was finding its feet with sporadic service, but really improved on a revisit.

The Mediterranean also has two breakouts – tapas and Italian. Much as we liked the pizzas, Spain was numero uno with its meat and veggie small plates.

For an anniversary treat, we booked the Pan Asian-themed Kora La speciality restaurant (£31.45pp), where feisty Vietnamese Shaking Beef topped the eastern excellence.

While the Mediterranean was our evening alfresco drinks pick, Aperitif bar proved ideal for a swift one before dinner and the Squid & Anchor pub filled up for cocktail-powered game shows, quizzes and live music.

Tip: Budget permitting, the premium all-inclusive package offers better-branded alcoholic and soft drinks plus barista coffees.

ENTERTAINMENT: West End-style shows at Broadway theatre are usually full and the discos (including silent) at Indigo Club attract the night owls.

The guest performer on our trip was Brian Connolly Jnr, son of the lead singer of 70s glam rockers Sweet, who died aged 51 in 1997.

His show in Broadway covered his dad’s hits and a late-night gig in the Squid & Anchor showcased 80s bangers.

We loved the nostalgia and humour.