Joey Comeau

Free

You are wonderful. Hello. I think you’re wonderful. And for you, I’m going to post stories and chapters from my work in progress and hope they make you gay.I mean make your day.I mean, uh, hey! You look ominous. (I really respect that.)

Everything You Do Is Wonderful

For the price of a cup of blood each month, I will think to myself: “Joey. Murder is NOT always the answer. Sometimes KISSING is the answer.”Or, you know. Vice versa.When will I think this? Lunchtime... literally any time.What do you actually get? All the free stories, the chapters of novels-in-progress, the weird letters and stranger updates—everything except the audiobook recordings.And in the end, we all get the same thing. We all got it coming.

Price of a Cup of Blood tier

There are some audio recordings of me reading chapters of whatever I’m working on—whether it’s a creepy tale of love or something darker. I don't post these regularly, but you'll have access to the archives.I have a lovely voice. A voice for 900 numbers, my professors at Juilliard said.So think of this as 1-900-What the hell did I just read?And a mild curse. As a thank you.

A mild curse, and some exclusives.

You will love to listen to audiobooks and read new chapters and indulge in all of the forbidden delights of my Patreon. Forbidden delights. I like the way that sounds. With your permission I'll say it just once more. Forbidden delights. Sign here.

A Fragment of Your Soul 

You crack me up, little buddy. I’d help you move. Heck, I’d help you move a body.Hell &amp; heck together, I’d help you move your own dead body, if you needed me to.Access to the audiobook archive posts—me, whispering sweet weirdness into the back of your head.Plus everything from the other tiers: stories, letters, videos, and a tasteful selection of miscellaneous emotional damage.

Sam & Max - Be the trouble Tier

You don’t belong with them. Those... humans. They’re just meat. Meat for the beast.You belong here, with me.You’ll get everything from the lower tiers—audiobooks, chapters, stories, all that creeping, soggy weird muck.But also:If there’s something you’d like me to record—some strange passage, your favorite poem—or something you’d like me to write for you, a letter you’re afraid to send... Drop me a message.I am here to help. Or to make things so much worse.

Take me to Midian

Listen. I can’t afford to support the artists I love with $100 a month. But there are people who can.People who have done terrible, terrible things that maybe they can wash out of their soul. People who would pay anything for someone to take just the smallest part of their stain and wipe it clean. You don't have to be afraid of people seeing you for who you really are.They do.

Recent posts by Joey Comeau